I'm gonna have a badass scar
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
