If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
