god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
