you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize