He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
