Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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