Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
