should my penis look like a turkey
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
