Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
