Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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