like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You should frame my arrest warrant.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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