Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Come on in and take your pants off
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