Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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