In the future we'll all be gay
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
