im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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