So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize