I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
