Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
