Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
