do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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