Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
