she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
