You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
