I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
