Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
