Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.

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(970): View more from Colorado

we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome

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(256): View more from Alabama

I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.

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(510): View more from California

Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face

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