In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
