I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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