Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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