you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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