Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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