Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
