just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have fence marks all over my body
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
