its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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