If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
