My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
