My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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