Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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