At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
