I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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