Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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