Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
