Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

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(802): View more from Vermont

he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.

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(907): View more from Alaska

My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.

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(903): View more from Texas

I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.

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(214): View more from Texas

My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.

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(518): View more from New York

I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation

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