I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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