I feel great
I just peed on a car
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
