OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
