So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
