I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
