It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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