For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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