By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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