just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize