That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
