Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
