I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize