Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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