It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
