You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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