it wasn't lemon gatorade
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
