how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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