You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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