Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
