I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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