hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
