There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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