I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
