I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize