Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
someone owes me an orgasm
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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