Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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