I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
